some BL discourse from japan

[michifugu]

So on Japanese Twitter, I saw some discourse about how the trope of “It’s not that I like men, it’s that I like you” that often appears in commercial BL is kind of homophobic because it erases homosexuality and makes it more palatable to mainstream/general audiences.

And I found some interesting counterarguments for this.

Basically, this trope isn’t exclusive to BL, but because most of the readers are women, that’s precisely why this kind of expression emerges. Why? Many women have experienced being approached simply for being “a conveniently available woman” or being reduced to their gender when it comes to relationship dynamics and confessions.

So for them, lines like “It’s not because you’re a woman or a man — I love you because you’re you” or “It’s not just anyone — I want you specifically” feel romantic and appealing.

Another user also pointed out that this trope exists in shoujo manga too. The reason it’s such a common expression is because many women find the idea of “I get approached by countless other women/men, but you’re the only one I love” is romantic.

And in a society where women are objectified and approached sexually simply for being women, there’s immense emotional value in the message of “I like you not just sexually, but as a human being.”

That’s basically the gist of it, and I wanted to give my thoughts because I find this super interesting.

Personally, I’m 50/50 on this because I think there’s nuance to this discourse.

Like, I do agree that the trope can be read as homosexual erasure because gay identity isn’t being considered or acknowledged, especially within queerphobic societies where homosexuality is stigmatized.

But at the same time, if we look at it from another perspective, the counterarguments also make sense within a patriarchal framework. Women have historically been reduced to their gender in romantic dynamics, and often when men are attracted to them, it’s because “they’re women.”

So the idea of someone loving them not because of their gender, but because of their individuality, feels deeply romantic and appealing to women who are constantly subjected to gender-based objectification.

Obviously gender does play a role in someone’s sexuality, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I think this trope partly comes from women projecting their own desires and fantasies into romance stories, which is why “It’s not because you’re a man/woman, but because it’s you” resonates so strongly with them.

And I understand why some queer people find this trope exhausting because it can feel like their identity is being stripped away or unrecognized, almost as if the queerness itself is being ignored.

But I also want to argue that the trope can be read as queer in its own way because it can feel demiromantic/demisexual, and you could even argue there’s a bisexual reading to it.

Overall, I don’t find the emergence of this trope surprising because it originated in shoujo manga, and BL as a genre is deeply rooted in shoujo manga. Since most of the readers and authors are women, it’s not surprising that they sometimes unconsciously inject or project desires and tropes that appeal to women specifically.

I feel like there’s no absolute right or wrong when it comes to this trope. But I also understand why this discourse is emerging, especially because Japanese BL drama productions constantly deny the BL element by marketing these stories as “human dramas,” which can feel really exhausting for japanese gay people.

I honestly think this topic needs to be examined on a case-by-case basis rather than generalized. If an individual author uses this trope, it may simply be because they want drama or uniqueness within the story. But when production teams and marketing departments repeatedly frame BL this way, I understand why people see it as queer erasure meant to make the story more palatable to mainstream audiences.

Comments

[guildrone]

Admittedly, as someone who has indeed just chalked the trope up to homophobia up until now, the anti-patriarchal angle is a pretty compelling one I hadn’t considered before—and I think I’m willing to give it more grace with that in mind.

…That being said, in those cases I’d think slipping a “just” or “only” in there (or being even more not-straight-to-the-point in saying “It’s not just anyone — I want you specifically” as you mention) wouldn’t be that big of an ask to not risk throwing queerness under the bus of convenient omission.* By that same token, though, I also hadn’t considered the space for a demi slant, so fair enough on that front.

*though maybe the actual Japanese equivalent would be linguistically messier, idk

[michifugu]

i think it just matter of different cultural nuance. honestly I think the trope can be seen as homophobia or queer erasure but in some case it might be the author being clueless or just think ''hey I think it's romantic if this person only love X without caring about their gender". so like I said, it need to be examined case-by-case.

it just that BL has shojo root and most of the author were women, that such trope appear a lot in BL.

[elyusion]

I had never thought about how women may keep writing that because they themselves want to be liked for more than their gender/sex too. Thank you for writing this post, and your later one about yuri too! You always give me something to think about. I won't say this necessarily makes it okay to me... Like you said, it'd probably sting less if no one advertised BL as representative of real gay relationships.

[michifugu]

Thanks!
I honestly don't like this trope but I just find it's really interesting to think *why* that trope appearing a lot in BL manga.
and the feminism angle does interesting so I just wanted to share it, hahaha.